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The Comeback - Saison 1- Episode 5
"Valerie Demands Dignity"

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Esperanza, I thought
we'd talked about this.

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I think you used clorox
on the tile again, dear.

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Yeah, you know it's all gritty.

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Yeah, if I touch that
and then touch my eye,

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Then we've got a big problem.

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No ! Oh no !

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Sorry, Jane, I wasn't ready for you.

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I don't have my lips on yet.

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I'll be right out.

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You have the tape, right ?

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Gotta put a bell around your neck
so you can't sneak up on me.

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So... yeah.

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So today should be fun.

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Gonna do some shopping

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On montana avenue in Santa Monica.

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It should be fun for the, you know,
middle america to see.

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Might be... kind of good.

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So...

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Yeah.

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Did you get the tape ?

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Jane, did you get that ?
Did you guys...

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- Yeah.
- You did. Yeah, okay.

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Well... busted ! We're human.

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Sometimes I wear no lipstick and
sometimes mark enjoys that kind of tape.

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But not often. No, not often.

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He has just the one...

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and it's really old, you know.

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Look at it. The cover's
all worn, see that ?

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So... better yet, don't see it.

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The box is all worn.

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Yeah.

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Jane, yeah, I'm not
comfortable filming this.

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You don't have to worry about what we're
shooting, cause we're shooting everything.

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Juste it takes a lot of footage to make
an interesting reality show.

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Right yeah, sure.

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Yeah, I understand.

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You have to make it interesting
but just not that kind of interesting,

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You know ? That's not what
our show is, you know ?

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Our show is about a woman's journey.

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You know ? About her heartfelt
journey back to herself.

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Has dignity.

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You know ?

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So... how'd that sound ?

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That's what I'm gonna tell Mary Murphy
from "TV guide" when I have lunch with her.

46
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- Sounds good.
- Good, yeah, isn't it ?

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Good description of
the show, yeah, I think so.

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Uh... yeah.

49
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Let's... Why don't we just rewind
then and tape back over it ?

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It's the master, I can't rewind it.

51
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Yeah, that's right, all right.
I forgot, yeah, never mind.

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Okay, so what can we do then ?
You know, cause I don't want to see that.

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So, jane, what can we do ?

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We can, uh...

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mark the time code and flag it.

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And flag it ? Good.
Yeah, let's do that then.

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All right, so... everyone just
consider this whole scene flagged.

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All right ? Good.

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All right, well, good, I'm glad
we cleared all this up, good.

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Yeah, cause you know, this show is not
about, you know, "ladies loving ladies. "

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It's about, you know,
this lady loving this lady.

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You know, so... good.

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Well, here we are on Montana avenue.

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And I think what I like most
about shopping here

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is the architecture, you know,

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- the stores are really...
- Valerie, Val !

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- Yeah.
- Your...

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mic wire is hanging down.

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Again ? Oh, that's attractive, huh ?

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Boy, I'll tell you.

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They can put a man on the moon,
but they can't make a mic pack

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that doesn't make me look like
I'm not passing linguini, huh ?

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You know ?

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Beautiful day, huh, fellas ?

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Yeah. Nice to be outside.

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We're gonna get some
great stuff today.

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Yeah.

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Valerie ?

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Yeah, what are we...
What are we doing ?

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You wanted to return those linens.

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That's right, yeah. Okay.

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All right, let's go.
Go on ahead.

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Go on ahead and then, let's go, yeah.

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Mickey... can...

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Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot one thing.
Go on ahead, yeah.

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Pay for this. I only have...

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Hi, I need to return some sheets.

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- Okay, do you have your receipt ?
- Yeah, right here.

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- Great.
- I always keep the receipts.

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That's smart, yeah.

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How have you been ?

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Um, good.

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And you ?

94
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Great, yeah, thanks.

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You ever find that apartment
in Venice beach ?

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Oh, that might have been Karen.

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She doesn't work here anymore.

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Okay, yeah.

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All right.

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Yeah... so where do you live ?

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Um... Echo Park.

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Echo Park. Yeah, oh, that's terrific.

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Yeah.

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That's east, right ?

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Off the, um... Off the 101 ?

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- Yes.
- Yeah, yeah.

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I'm going to... find other sheets.

108
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- Okay.
- Okay.

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Here we go.

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That's percale.

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Egyptian cotton.

112
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Wow, this is boring.

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Just stop, Jane.

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Just stop. Nothing is
happening, you know ?

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No one's gonna... wanna watch this.

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Just keep going, maybe
something will happen.

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Well what ? What's gonna happen, huh ?

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What do you think ?

119
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Salesgirl gonna burst into flames ?

120
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You know, nothing's happening,
Jane, nothing's gonna happen.

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It's just...

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No offense, you know ?

123
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Is there something wrong ?

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I think somebody
needs an iced latte.

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There's a starbucks right
down the street. Let's go, red.

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That's... Yeah, just take a break.

127
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So what do I do with these sheets ?

128
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Did you see this, Mickey ?

129
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I don't have my glasses, wait.

130
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Well, apparently reality shows
are dying and nobody told me.

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Unless I'm willing to have
drunk sex in a hot tub

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Or eat a bowl full of cow testicles,

133
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Nobody's gonna be watching.

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It's sex and stunts,
sex and stunts, that's it !

135
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What do they know ?

136
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It's "Entertainment Weekly,"
Mickey, I think they know.

137
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Believe me, nobody loves
reality shows more than me,

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and you're already on my tivo list.

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Oh.

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Want a sip of my chantico
drinking chocolate ?

141
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- No.
- Really ? It's delicious.

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Listen to this, "television today
has a Coliseum mentality. "

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Mickey, I don't do Coliseum.
I don't do it.

144
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And you don't need to.

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You have something those
other shows don't have...

146
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Valerie Cherish, and you're enough.

147
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You reading a book is enough.

148
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You crossing the street is enough.

149
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Trust me, sweetheart,

150
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you have always been
and will always be enough.

151
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Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right.

152
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You're right, I don't
need sex and stunts.

153
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My comeback will be
enough, of course, yeah.

154
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So silly. Thank you, Mickey.

155
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Oh, Victoria's Secret models are
getting their own reality show.

156
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Are they ? I didn't see that.

157
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- Yeah, mid-Season, like yours.
- Really ?

158
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Okay.

159
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Wow !

160
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You look great.

161
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Thanks, Marky-Mark... love ball.

162
00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:08,811
What you doin'?

163
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:12,763
- Oh, watching CNN.
- Hmm.

164
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,061
- Is this new ?
- Mm-Hmm.

165
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You watch your show.

166
00:09:27,097 --> 00:09:29,553
Oh no, that's...
That's all right.

167
00:09:29,565 --> 00:09:31,081
- It's all right.
- Yeah, it's okay.

168
00:09:31,097 --> 00:09:34,023
No, I think I can do
something else, okay ?

169
00:09:35,026 --> 00:09:36,800
Mark, you have to stop.

170
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The camera, the camera.

171
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:42,373
Honey, you have to stop.
You have to stop.

172
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All right, help me out, Val.

173
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Why did you dress like that
if you didn't want to...

174
00:09:47,266 --> 00:09:49,902
Well that, ahem...
Can't I just give...

175
00:09:50,017 --> 00:09:53,182
my sexy husband, a big-Girl
kiss goodnight, hmm ?

176
00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:54,670
'Cause I love him
so very very much ?

177
00:09:54,696 --> 00:09:56,542
All right, why are you
acting like this ?

178
00:09:57,628 --> 00:09:58,530
Mark...

179
00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:04,312
- There was an article in "Entertainment...
- What ?

180
00:10:04,358 --> 00:10:06,922
There was an article
in "Entertainment Weekly. "

181
00:10:07,146 --> 00:10:09,943
- All right, what does "entertainment weekly"...
- That's our...

182
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:14,183
And it just talked about how
competitive reality shows are.

183
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There's a lot of sex in them, so...

184
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- Oh, I see.
- ... I thought I'd do something.

185
00:10:18,016 --> 00:10:21,053
All right, then why stop ?
Why not just go all the way ?

186
00:10:21,235 --> 00:10:23,081
'Cause I'm not that kind of show, Mark.

187
00:10:23,947 --> 00:10:27,091
Oh, I understand. So you
gave me blue balls for ratings.

188
00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:28,081
- Mark !
- Nice.

189
00:10:28,097 --> 00:10:29,861
Oh no, that's...

190
00:10:32,827 --> 00:10:34,171
Now you're mad.

191
00:10:35,346 --> 00:10:36,462
Don't be mad.

192
00:10:41,538 --> 00:10:43,540
I'm gonna go into the bathroom, Mark.

193
00:10:46,326 --> 00:10:49,810
- I'm gonna go into the bathroom.
- I'm tired of doing it in the bathroom, Val.

194
00:10:50,556 --> 00:10:53,310
I just want to make love
to my wife in my bed

195
00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:56,300
- and move around like we always do.
- We can talk about that later.

196
00:10:56,335 --> 00:10:59,741
My knees are still fucked up
from kneeling on that tile floor.

197
00:10:59,838 --> 00:11:02,812
I hit your head on the toilet last time
when I was trying to turn you over...

198
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:03,700
Okay, thank you for that.

199
00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:05,731
Look, I think I've been
pretty accommodating,

200
00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:08,442
running around, hiding
all my porno tapes...

201
00:11:08,497 --> 00:11:12,881
Tape, one tape, just one.
That's all we have, Mark, okay ?

202
00:11:12,896 --> 00:11:14,580
'Cause that's not
who we are, you know.

203
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:15,822
It's fine, but...

204
00:11:16,188 --> 00:11:19,213
We're... a very healthy...
healthy couple, you know,

205
00:11:19,227 --> 00:11:21,821
with very... very loving...

206
00:11:22,686 --> 00:11:25,540
Relationship based...
based on respect, you know.

207
00:11:25,568 --> 00:11:27,030
That's who we are, you know ?

208
00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:30,120
And every time we are together,
it's like the first time every time.

209
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:34,453
And we're just... we're very lucky,
that's what we are. We are lucky to have...

210
00:11:34,525 --> 00:11:37,453
All right, Jane.
Jane, just flag it.

211
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,332
Just flag the whole scene, all right ?

212
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:44,250
'Cause... took care of it.

213
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:48,672
- Valerie !
- I'll sit, yeah.

214
00:11:48,835 --> 00:11:50,931
Actually I just wanted
to introduce you to someone.

215
00:11:50,956 --> 00:11:51,842
Oh, okay.

216
00:11:51,858 --> 00:11:54,362
Oh my god, it's Charla
from "the amazing race. "

217
00:11:54,376 --> 00:11:56,222
Oh, I never saw it. Never.

218
00:11:57,156 --> 00:11:59,341
Hi, I'm Charla.

219
00:12:00,298 --> 00:12:03,242
Hello hello, I'm Valerie.

220
00:12:03,338 --> 00:12:05,760
Hello, nice to...
This is Mickey.

221
00:12:05,877 --> 00:12:08,221
It's an honor and a privilege.

222
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:12,181
You should've won. You played
with such dignity and grace.

223
00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:13,462
Thank you.

224
00:12:17,076 --> 00:12:17,801
Jane ?

225
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,213
We just wanted you to meet her.

226
00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:19,983
Uh-Huh.

227
00:12:20,046 --> 00:12:21,942
Charla has her own
new reality show as well.

228
00:12:21,968 --> 00:12:23,842
Oh, good for you.

229
00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:26,122
I wanna show the world
that I can do anything

230
00:12:26,158 --> 00:12:28,143
an average-sized person can do

231
00:12:28,197 --> 00:12:30,901
and break all the stereotypes
about little people.

232
00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:33,012
Wow, yeah, I can relate.

233
00:12:33,117 --> 00:12:35,021
You know that's why I did
that hallmark movie

234
00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:37,121
about the woman with
the awful headaches.

235
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,692
It's called "the littlest assistant"

236
00:12:38,738 --> 00:12:40,992
and every week she is
a different person's assistant.

237
00:12:41,066 --> 00:12:41,702
Oh !

238
00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:44,731
Check out this advertising campaign.

239
00:12:45,407 --> 00:12:48,262
Cute hook. Looks like fun.

240
00:12:48,615 --> 00:12:50,123
Much success to you.

241
00:12:50,956 --> 00:12:54,232
So they were thinking that they
could cross promote both shows

242
00:12:54,245 --> 00:12:55,861
and have her be your assistant.

243
00:12:58,415 --> 00:12:59,893
Oh. Sounds fun.

244
00:13:00,265 --> 00:13:01,542
I don't know, you know.

245
00:13:01,607 --> 00:13:05,352
Val, I have seen this girl
round up a herd of camels,

246
00:13:05,407 --> 00:13:07,613
descend into an egyptian tomb

247
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:10,690
and carry a 50-Lb.
slab of beef on her back.

248
00:13:11,048 --> 00:13:14,042
Believe me, she can
pick up your dry cleaning.

249
00:13:15,638 --> 00:13:16,450
Well...

250
00:13:17,488 --> 00:13:18,901
Yeah, I just, you know,

251
00:13:19,528 --> 00:13:22,191
don't want to waste
her skills, you know.

252
00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:24,981
It's just... anyway, you know.

253
00:13:25,018 --> 00:13:28,540
'Cause I think people are getting antsy here,
Jane. Crew needs to get back to their family.

254
00:13:28,568 --> 00:13:30,212
- Sure, I'll let you go.
- Well...

255
00:13:30,335 --> 00:13:32,230
Looking forward to
working with you, though.

256
00:13:32,257 --> 00:13:37,153
Well, we'll... see what we can...
You know, if we can make it work.

257
00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:38,680
Bye. Don't trip over a cable.

258
00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:41,302
- Mickey, would you walk her out ?
- Sure. Charla.

259
00:13:45,097 --> 00:13:48,723
Ah. Well... ahem,

260
00:13:48,788 --> 00:13:50,823
Jane, I'll appreciate a little heads up

261
00:13:50,857 --> 00:13:53,940
Next time you want to
surprise me with a... surprise.

262
00:13:54,056 --> 00:13:56,342
They wanted me to get your
honest reaction on camera.

263
00:13:56,387 --> 00:13:58,550
- Well, how was it ?
- Great.

264
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,430
- Oh.
- So great.

265
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:01,352
- Oh really ?
- Yeah.

266
00:14:01,378 --> 00:14:03,122
- Oh.
- So good.

267
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:05,173
- Okay, good.
- So what do you think ?

268
00:14:06,725 --> 00:14:09,480
Oh, about the being
my assistant ? I don't know.

269
00:14:10,377 --> 00:14:11,830
You know, I don't know.

270
00:14:11,966 --> 00:14:14,620
I mean, this isn't really...
It's not really a show about,

271
00:14:14,828 --> 00:14:17,470
you know, a little person carrying
meat on her back, you know ?

272
00:14:17,568 --> 00:14:20,290
It is about a woman's return to herself,

273
00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:21,813
you know, with dignity.

274
00:14:22,807 --> 00:14:26,330
Not that carrying meat isn't dignified,

275
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,952
you know... it is.

276
00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:30,522
It's just I don't know if we want
to go down that road, you know.

277
00:14:30,557 --> 00:14:33,382
Just... you know...

278
00:14:33,877 --> 00:14:35,221
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

279
00:14:35,528 --> 00:14:37,721
You know, I'm just gonna call
Jason Silver right now,

280
00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,912
and tell him that we're not
comfortable with it.

281
00:14:39,968 --> 00:14:42,363
- Uh-Huh. Was this his idea, yeah ?
- Yeah.

282
00:14:42,688 --> 00:14:46,261
Just cause she's so popular and
he thought that it would help the numbers.

283
00:14:47,897 --> 00:14:48,771
Well...

284
00:14:51,145 --> 00:14:54,241
Yeah, he thinks she would
help the numbers, huh ? Well...

285
00:14:54,397 --> 00:14:56,230
Silver lining productions,
can you hold, please ?

286
00:14:56,268 --> 00:14:57,420
...then let's do it.

287
00:14:57,838 --> 00:14:59,393
- It's great. Let's do it, yeah.
- Really ?

288
00:14:59,445 --> 00:15:02,481
Yeah, why not ? Sure, he knows
what he's doing, you know.

289
00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:05,612
It'll help the numbers,
yeah, ahem, sure.

290
00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:08,031
Eh, let's not bother him.
He's got five other reality shows.

291
00:15:08,065 --> 00:15:09,861
Let's not be the problem show.

292
00:15:10,245 --> 00:15:11,412
- Right, yeah.
- Yeah

293
00:15:11,446 --> 00:15:13,383
Good, cause he really thought
it would help the show.

294
00:15:13,406 --> 00:15:15,922
Oh, okay, good, well, me too.

295
00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:18,511
Me too. Okay, good.

296
00:15:19,588 --> 00:15:21,731
Jane, is it because of the linen store ?

297
00:15:32,418 --> 00:15:33,930
It's my assistant, Charla.

298
00:15:36,406 --> 00:15:37,740
It's not polite to stare.

299
00:15:38,465 --> 00:15:39,402
Not polite.

300
00:15:41,405 --> 00:15:43,313
Oh, thank you, great.

301
00:15:43,445 --> 00:15:46,503
- All right, that's good, let's...
- I got that.

302
00:15:46,565 --> 00:15:49,203
No, it's, you know, it's long
and I didn't want it to...

303
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,950
- You know, it's all right.
- I got it, I got it.

304
00:15:51,975 --> 00:15:52,910
Well...

305
00:15:54,627 --> 00:15:55,510
you go, girl.

306
00:15:57,055 --> 00:15:59,741
You know, one second. I think
I'm missing something, wait a minute.

307
00:15:59,765 --> 00:16:03,321
Yeah, I don't have the skirt.
I need the skirt.

308
00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:07,020
It's a black Armani.
It goes with the suit.

309
00:16:07,036 --> 00:16:10,263
I need it for my... I have a lunch
meeting tomorrow and I gotta have it.

310
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:41,162
Well, this certainly isn't boring.

311
00:16:41,618 --> 00:16:43,820
- I've done this before.
- Have you ?

312
00:16:46,495 --> 00:16:49,960
Yeah, she's...
She's something. Yeah.

313
00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:56,880
Well...

314
00:16:57,366 --> 00:17:00,700
I learned a lot today from
a little lady named Charla.

315
00:17:01,868 --> 00:17:04,720
I learned that dignity
comes in all sizes.

316
00:17:05,477 --> 00:17:07,761
Some struggles are more obvious

317
00:17:07,837 --> 00:17:09,621
and some are more...

318
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,142
internal.

319
00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:17,100
Some people see Charla
at a dry cleaner and think,

320
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,040
"How is she gonna reach that ?"

321
00:17:20,076 --> 00:17:23,163
Some people see Valerie
Cherish's dreams and think,

322
00:17:24,056 --> 00:17:25,992
"How is she gonna reach that ?"

323
00:17:27,286 --> 00:17:29,031
Two huge mountains...

324
00:17:29,818 --> 00:17:31,442
two huge people,

325
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:34,623
no matter the size.

326
00:17:41,337 --> 00:17:43,281
Well, this is a treat.

327
00:17:44,246 --> 00:17:45,662
Not only do you keep me
on schedule,

328
00:17:45,677 --> 00:17:47,692
But you drive me to my meeting too.

329
00:17:49,106 --> 00:17:50,561
"Driving Miss Cherish. "

330
00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:54,603
Lordy, Miss Cherish,
how you do go on ?

331
00:17:54,668 --> 00:17:56,432
That's my "driving Miss Daisy. "

332
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,730
And I could do more.

333
00:17:59,156 --> 00:18:03,532
Rotate your tires, paint your house...
You name it, anything.

334
00:18:03,608 --> 00:18:05,722
Oh. Well, aren't you something, huh ?

335
00:18:06,926 --> 00:18:09,840
I'm good for now,
but I'll keep you posted, okay ?

336
00:18:10,475 --> 00:18:13,013
A little back story on my
lunch meeting today :

337
00:18:13,078 --> 00:18:16,673
Huh, Mary Murphy and I have
known each other since...

338
00:18:17,518 --> 00:18:19,091
Wow. Is that me ?

339
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,862
- Hello ?
- First time caller,

340
00:18:25,877 --> 00:18:27,870
- long time listener !
- It's mickey.

341
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,732
Hi. We miss you. You miss us ?

342
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:33,103
We gotta get Charla a bigger car.

343
00:18:34,357 --> 00:18:36,883
Anyway, so... what's up, doll ?

344
00:18:37,226 --> 00:18:39,371
Just wondering how
it's working out with her.

345
00:18:39,435 --> 00:18:41,562
Oh, great. Just great, yeah.

346
00:18:41,635 --> 00:18:44,052
- Hi, charla.
- Hi, mickey !

347
00:18:44,717 --> 00:18:45,363
All right.

348
00:18:45,408 --> 00:18:47,002
We should probably go now so...

349
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:50,043
Charla, could you please say
a quick hello to my friend David ?

350
00:18:50,157 --> 00:18:52,012
He doesn't believe I know you.

351
00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:53,830
Sure. Put him on.

352
00:18:55,295 --> 00:18:58,130
- Hello.
- Hello, David ?

353
00:18:58,208 --> 00:19:00,692
This is Charla from "the amazing race. "

354
00:19:00,897 --> 00:19:02,800
And now "the littlest assistant. "

355
00:19:02,878 --> 00:19:05,471
Oh my god ! I love you !

356
00:19:05,596 --> 00:19:07,402
All right, we gotta hop off now.

357
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,432
- Sorry, darling.
- Oh my god...

358
00:19:09,545 --> 00:19:10,553
Oh no.

359
00:19:12,707 --> 00:19:13,511
What ?

360
00:19:15,296 --> 00:19:16,601
I better pull over.

361
00:19:17,015 --> 00:19:17,933
What's the matter ?

362
00:19:17,945 --> 00:19:20,403
- We're slowing down.
- Yeah, we sure are.

363
00:19:20,836 --> 00:19:24,052
- What do you think's the matter ?
- I think we're out of gas.

364
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:28,461
Out of gas ? What... Huh.

365
00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:30,421
I guess I forgot to fill up.

366
00:19:30,467 --> 00:19:32,630
I was busy with your stuff today.

367
00:19:38,075 --> 00:19:38,951
Well...

368
00:19:39,836 --> 00:19:41,950
I have this meeting that I can't miss.

369
00:19:42,736 --> 00:19:45,190
Jane, I think you're gonna
have to call someone

370
00:19:45,206 --> 00:19:47,422
- and have them pick us up.
- I can't do that.

371
00:19:47,968 --> 00:19:49,132
What do you mean ?
Why can't you ?

372
00:19:49,165 --> 00:19:50,990
They can't get involved.

373
00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:54,101
It's like the time when the guy
fell on the fire on "survivor"

374
00:19:54,135 --> 00:19:56,971
- and no one was allowed to help because...
- Yeah, that's all right.

375
00:19:56,996 --> 00:20:00,271
Charla, I'm not a big fan
of reality shows so...

376
00:20:00,446 --> 00:20:03,172
Those... those reality shows.

377
00:20:03,216 --> 00:20:05,260
You know, this one isn't a game.

378
00:20:05,408 --> 00:20:07,901
It's my life, you know,
and I have a meeting I have to...

379
00:20:07,925 --> 00:20:10,901
It's all right. You know
what, I'll call a cab.

380
00:20:11,295 --> 00:20:13,261
- I'll just use my own phone.
- We can walk.

381
00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:14,963
We're right near the exit.

382
00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:17,412
Well, we don't have time to wait
for someone to pick us up.

383
00:20:17,445 --> 00:20:19,261
That's true, that's true.

384
00:20:20,395 --> 00:20:22,881
- This isn't... this isn't working.
- Come on !

385
00:20:22,916 --> 00:20:24,113
I'm coming ! It's not working out.

386
00:20:24,147 --> 00:20:26,053
We can do this ! Come on !

387
00:20:26,087 --> 00:20:29,030
I got heels and a dress...
How can we walk ?

388
00:20:29,088 --> 00:20:30,800
The restaurant's at the beach !

389
00:20:30,926 --> 00:20:32,600
Stay on the shoulder, though !

390
00:20:33,307 --> 00:20:34,493
Hurry !

391
00:20:34,936 --> 00:20:39,430
Yeah, I know, I need...
I need a taxi. It's an emergency.

392
00:20:40,217 --> 00:20:42,402
Okay, I'm on the 10 freeway.

393
00:20:42,717 --> 00:20:43,693
The 10 !

394
00:20:44,446 --> 00:20:47,320
I don't know, I think
the lincoln off-ramp.

395
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,060
I'm, you know, near there.

396
00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,723
I'm not at an address, so I can't...

397
00:20:52,265 --> 00:20:53,121
I'm not...

398
00:20:53,346 --> 00:20:54,433
Charla ! No !

399
00:20:54,537 --> 00:20:57,233
- No, don't try it !
- I've done this before !

400
00:20:57,276 --> 00:21:00,272
No no no ! You can't cross the freeway !

401
00:21:00,317 --> 00:21:04,631
You can't ! I go down the off-ramp,
dear, and then we'll cross over !

402
00:21:04,655 --> 00:21:06,661
This'll save us 20 minutes !

403
00:21:07,028 --> 00:21:10,683
Well, I'm going down !
I'm going down the off-ramp !

404
00:21:11,286 --> 00:21:13,463
Just... she's insane.

405
00:21:14,966 --> 00:21:17,050
Come on, Val.
We're going to be late.

406
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,401
Let's go !

407
00:21:19,307 --> 00:21:22,333
You know, you may want
to rethink the title of your show.

408
00:21:22,397 --> 00:21:25,910
You can keep the "little" part,
but you're a bad assistant.

409
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:29,902
Okay, if I were as bad an actress
as you are an assistant,

410
00:21:29,918 --> 00:21:33,360
Then I wouldn't have the balls
to make a comeback.

411
00:21:34,246 --> 00:21:36,463
Really, it's just poor planning !

412
00:21:36,538 --> 00:21:39,132
I think this is pretty good planning.

413
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:42,080
What does that mean, huh ?

414
00:21:43,865 --> 00:21:46,633
Wait, Charla. Stop.

415
00:21:47,976 --> 00:21:51,032
Did you... You ran
outta gas on purpose.

416
00:21:51,715 --> 00:21:52,962
You're welcome.

417
00:21:53,787 --> 00:21:55,361
Jane, she did it on purpose !

418
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,502
That is way outta line, all right ?

419
00:21:58,786 --> 00:22:00,820
Way... I have...
I have a meeting

420
00:22:00,838 --> 00:22:02,852
with a television critic

421
00:22:03,478 --> 00:22:06,872
That now I'm gonna be late
for because of a stunt ?

422
00:22:07,345 --> 00:22:09,882
Oh, that is really
unprofessional !

423
00:22:09,907 --> 00:22:13,003
Wake up, Val ! This is reality TV.

424
00:22:13,047 --> 00:22:14,833
You have to make it happen !

425
00:22:15,007 --> 00:22:17,673
No one manipulates my show !

426
00:22:18,008 --> 00:22:20,763
You are a very dishonest little person.

427
00:22:22,346 --> 00:22:24,682
All right, I'm done.
I'm done here, Jane.

428
00:22:24,747 --> 00:22:27,510
She can walk all the way back
to Marrakech or whatever.

429
00:22:27,537 --> 00:22:29,512
I don't care. Let's go.

430
00:22:34,975 --> 00:22:37,763
Jane, you have to make
a decision now, dear.

431
00:22:37,788 --> 00:22:39,000
What's it gonna be ?

432
00:22:39,226 --> 00:22:40,833
What show are you gonna do, huh ?

433
00:22:40,845 --> 00:22:43,763
The sex and stunts show
or the dignity show ?

434
00:22:44,268 --> 00:22:48,582
Because this road leads
to Mary Murphy and dignity.

435
00:22:56,737 --> 00:22:58,411
That's a beach bus !
It's a beach...

436
00:22:58,416 --> 00:22:59,892
It's going to the beach !

437
00:23:00,116 --> 00:23:02,001
- We can make it !
- Go ! Go !

438
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:05,573
Come on, we can
make it ! Come on !

439
00:23:07,366 --> 00:23:08,571
Oh ! Oh !

440
00:23:10,525 --> 00:23:11,173
Ow.

441
00:23:12,056 --> 00:23:14,042
Shoot. Wait !

442
00:23:14,865 --> 00:23:16,332
Oh, it's open. Let's go !

443
00:23:16,928 --> 00:23:18,290
No ! No !

444
00:23:18,626 --> 00:23:20,482
You stop ! You have to...

445
00:23:20,757 --> 00:23:22,731
You stop for me !

446
00:23:24,396 --> 00:23:25,461
Open up !

447
00:23:26,207 --> 00:23:28,011
Thank you. I...

448
00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:30,501
My crew's coming.
How much is this ?

449
00:23:30,676 --> 00:23:33,263
- It's 75¢.
- 75¢.

450
00:23:33,965 --> 00:23:36,313
All right, Jane, you're
gonna have to pay, dear.

451
00:23:38,106 --> 00:23:39,573
And we're in a hurry.

452
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:43,210
So if you could just get us
to the beach as fast as you can.

453
00:23:44,198 --> 00:23:45,170
All right.

454
00:23:45,686 --> 00:23:46,820
Welcome back.

455
00:23:49,418 --> 00:23:52,872
Take this. And, Jane, you're
gonna have to call Jason Silver

456
00:23:52,905 --> 00:23:54,540
- and tell him what Charla did.
- I will.

457
00:23:54,568 --> 00:23:57,772
- Well, he needs to know.
- She's a loose cannon.

458
00:23:57,786 --> 00:23:59,161
Yeah, well, he needs to know,

459
00:23:59,177 --> 00:24:01,640
'Cause that's not our show.
That's not what we're doing.

460
00:24:02,487 --> 00:24:03,831
- There you are !
- Oh !

461
00:24:04,185 --> 00:24:05,622
Please, my purse.

462
00:24:06,517 --> 00:24:08,851
Mary Murphy. Oh, I'm so late.

463
00:24:08,877 --> 00:24:10,341
I don't know, I don't deserve a hug.

464
00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:11,443
I don't deserve it.

465
00:24:13,845 --> 00:24:16,540
Oh, darling, I am so sorry.

466
00:24:17,058 --> 00:24:19,100
- How are you ?
- I'm good. How are you ?

467
00:24:19,118 --> 00:24:22,820
I'm great, I'm great. And thank you so much
for meeting me in person like this.

468
00:24:22,846 --> 00:24:23,873
I really appreciate it, you know.

469
00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:26,450
- Would you like something to drink ?
- Yes, I would.

470
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,751
Iced tea, that'd be good, yeah.

471
00:24:29,305 --> 00:24:31,600
- Mm.
- You're bleeding !

472
00:24:32,115 --> 00:24:33,593
Ooh, uh-Huh.

473
00:24:34,007 --> 00:24:36,331
Yeah, I had a little
trouble getting here.

474
00:24:36,798 --> 00:24:38,160
The car ran out of gas

475
00:24:38,235 --> 00:24:41,501
and then I fell trying
to catch the bus.

476
00:24:42,498 --> 00:24:45,620
I'll ask the waiter to bring me
a band-aid or something. It'll be fine.

477
00:24:45,696 --> 00:24:48,353
Well, at least you've got
some footage for your show.

478
00:24:48,376 --> 00:24:50,331
Well, actually no.

479
00:24:50,466 --> 00:24:53,963
You know, I know that's
what everybody's doing,

480
00:24:53,975 --> 00:24:56,061
but we're going to buck the trend.

481
00:24:56,137 --> 00:24:58,701
- Can you ?
- Well, I think so.

482
00:24:58,767 --> 00:25:00,201
We're gonna do something new

483
00:25:00,246 --> 00:25:02,102
by doing something old-fashioned.

484
00:25:02,136 --> 00:25:04,492
We're going to do
a reality show with dignity.

485
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,481
Oh-Ho-Ho, that would be refreshing.

486
00:25:07,505 --> 00:25:10,301
Wouldn't it ? That's what
the world needs now...

487
00:25:10,366 --> 00:25:11,900
Dignity, sweet dignity.

488
00:25:11,976 --> 00:25:14,503
- Can I quote you on that ?
- Yeah, sure. Of course.

489
00:25:23,927 --> 00:25:26,920
Oh... oh, yeah yeah.

490
00:25:27,016 --> 00:25:30,632
Mmm. Oh, Val.

491
00:25:31,338 --> 00:25:32,972
Oh, that feels so good.

492
00:25:34,688 --> 00:25:36,633
Oh yeah, lick my balls.

493
00:25:36,728 --> 00:25:39,962
Oh yeah. Yeah.

494
00:25:39,986 --> 00:25:42,330
Oh, that's so good.

495
00:25:44,148 --> 00:25:45,812
Oh yeah.

496
00:25:48,288 --> 00:25:49,762
Oh god.

497
00:25:50,555 --> 00:25:51,372
Ow !

498
00:25:51,397 --> 00:25:52,592
- I'm okay, I'm okay.
- Okay ?

499
00:25:52,625 --> 00:25:53,411
Yeah, I'm okay.

500
00:25:53,487 --> 00:25:54,193
All right.

501
00:25:57,137 --> 00:25:58,442
Oh, wait wait wait.
Stop stop stop !

502
00:25:58,458 --> 00:25:59,323
What ?

503
00:25:59,816 --> 00:26:01,492
Is that little bathroom camera on ?

504
00:26:01,565 --> 00:26:04,701
No, of course not. I turned it off.

505
00:26:06,108 --> 00:26:08,410
Oh, Val, oh.

506
00:26:09,927 --> 00:26:11,912
Oh, it feels so good.

507
00:26:15,077 --> 00:26:16,231
Oh ! Ouch !

508
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:17,831
- You okay ?
- Yeah.

509
00:26:17,887 --> 00:26:19,263
- Yeah ?
- I'm okay.

510
00:26:19,275 --> 00:26:22,131
- Yeah.
- Here, lift me up on the counter.

511
00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:24,103
I want to watch
myself in the mirror.

512
00:26:26,817 --> 00:26:28,273
- Like that ?
- Oh yeah.

513
00:26:29,027 --> 00:26:30,261
Oh, that's good.

514
00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:35,741
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah.

515
00:26:36,627 --> 00:26:39,560
- Oh, you're blocking me.
- Yeah, okay.

516
00:26:39,676 --> 00:26:40,651
Oh, Val !

517
00:26:40,696 --> 00:26:44,450
Transcript : Raceman
Synchro : Seth Cohen

518
00:26:44,496 --> 00:26:46,962
www. forom. com

519
00:26:47,012 --> 00:26:51,562
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